Forgetting

So, this might be kind of a sad post, but I'm just in one of those moods. I suppose this has been building up for a while. Like, my whole life. Sometimes forgetting is good. In fact, I'm really grateful when I forget about those times I was picked on in elementary school, or how I used to wear stretchy pants with the little foot suspenders, or those times when I just felt completely and utterly alone. Forgetting is a very gracious act of nature.

However, there are some things I don't want to forget. Like the way my mom would help me get ready for my first day of school and give me a big kiss as I would walk out the door, or how fun it was to just be a kid and imagine that I could do anything (and not care about what pants I was wearing), or the times in my life when I have felt completely and utterly happy. Forgetting is painful.

Lately, I have been going through a very real transition of forgetting. I first started realizing it when I would start to speak Spanish, and I would get nervous and kind of tense as soon as I opened my mouth. Where did that come from? I haven't done that since I was a greenie in the mission field! So I started taking preventative measures, like speaking Spanish every time I get the chance. I'm still forgetting, however.

And then I was talking to Louis today on the phone. He's back in Chile after two long years, and has been doing a lot of remembering. In fact, I heard him speaking to one of his co-workers in Spanish, and he sounded like a genuine Chilean.

I started to get sad because I DON'T WANT TO FORGET! It's not just Spanish! It's an entire year and a half of my life that was the most difficult and amazing and eye-opening experience of my entire life, and I'm forgetting? I can't! I can't forget the names, the faces, the Spirit, the people, the love, the smells, the tears...

In the scriptures, the prophets are constantly exhorting us to remember. I suppose they have to remind us so often because we so often forget. So, remembering takes effort. I'm resolved to do so.