Confessions of a Food Addict

I'm afraid this post is going to have to be brutally honest.

#1-Sorry it's been so long. I don't know why I haven't written lately but right now is one of those times I just HAVE to blog. The words are like vomit and if I don't let them out they will just make me sick.

#2-I have a confession. I am an addict.

So, I gave up sugar way back in February... and it was only supposed to be for like 6 weeks. I've done it before. Not ever for that long, but it felt good. I mean, I was still eating fruit and stuff... but the straight up chocolate cake or triple fudge ice cream--forget it. That stuff always makes me miserable anyway.

So seriously. I didn't TOUCH sugar for 2 months! It was amazing. I was impressed with my own willpower.

MISTAKE: I did this little psychological trick where I would freeze stuff if it looked really good. Not like it would actually taste good after being frozen (for example... cinnamon roll? Not so good frost-bitten.) I also saved candy from Easter and Valentine's Day.

Well, tonight it happened. I think all that crap was hidden somewhere in my subconscious, and my subconscious let loose

The stress did it

Finals + taxes + fixing my car + finding money for rental deposits + figuring out graduation + accepting 20 extra hours at work + figuring out what the H to do AFTER graduation + running... always running from one thing to another = WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE??!!!???!!

I found it. I ate.... way too much of it. I don't only feel like vomiting words but I actually really, really feel like vomiting. I considered making myself do it, but I really hate vomiting and am kind of opposed to that whole making yourself throw up thing.

Then I realized... I really am addicted. It was as if I was a smoker who had given up cigarettes for two months and then went CRAZY and went out and bought 5 cartons and smoked them in one night.

So I did what anyone who REALLY wants to quit (and I mean it. I want to quit junk food) and I decided to throw it all out. That's right. I rounded it all up--perfectly good chocolate kisses. Reese's peanut butter cup. Frozen truffles and chocolate covered strawberries. It was... really hard. At first. BUT then it was ssoooooo good. Seriously.

Now there aren't any calorie-ridden cadbury eggs lurking in my subconscious waiting to exploit my weakness when I get overwhelmed. I will want them. But I won't be able to eat them because they are DESTROYED. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

well

This is probably one of the most intense (or crazy) posts I've ever written. I feel better now.

except for that whole needing to vomit thing.