God's Army

Okay, so I finally had some inspiration.

I can't take complete credit for it though. I got a letter in the mail today from one of my missionaries. There was a hilarious story in it. That made me think of another hilarious story from another letter... so I'm gonna share them both with you.

Missionary Story #1 (Elder C., South Dakota Rapid City Mission)
At the end of September, my trainer and I had invited a fellow named Jose to church. We met him in front of his apartment at 8:30 (he lived 3 buildings down from us) and were waiting for a ride from a member who also happens to live on our street. My trainer realized that we needed the "Deberes del Sacerdocio" book from the car. It was within sight and sound (I love how he includes this, you know, because I'm his MTC teacher), so I stood there with Jose. I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came. I looked down the street where Elder R was and then back at Jose, who started walking away from me. I looked back at R and when my gaze returned to Jose, he was running down the street! I had no idea what to do... so I just stood there. Jose disappeared around the corner and my companion came back.

"Where is Jose?"

"He ran away."

"What?!"

"He and his cowboy hat ran away and disappeared around the corner!"

"That's when you go running with him, Elder C!"

So yeah, that is the story of Jose who ran away...

Missionary Story #2 (Elder D., Utah Ogden Mission)
I'm sure every mission has their problems with drunks and druggies but Ogden seems to be a special place. And let me tell you something first - everybody knows who you are - member or nonmember. You knock a door and they know you're Mormon and a missionary.

But anyways - these people, as you've probably noticed, are attracted to missionaries. They sniff us out and find us or maybe it's just me. Maybe I smile too much or look approachable. It needs to stop. I'll share a story about this one guy we ran into.

So we were leaving a dinner appointment and started talking to this guy obviously enjoying life a little too much, if you know what I mean. He asks us if we baptize people and we say sure and then he tells us -

"That's good. Because I've already been baptized - in my dreams. I floated over a lake and then dropped and submerged myself."

He tells us he flies a lot in his dreams. I'm sure he does.

He then tells us one time he met the devil in one of his dreams. But like a multicolored devil. Like a rainbow devil. With three faces. Here's what his faces were - the first, the face of a wolf. The second, a monkey. And the third - the third was just a face.

He then explains that the devil bit off his fingers and when he asks, "Hey, what's up devil? Why did you bite off my finger?" the devil says, "Don't worry about it. It's just a dream."


Not as funny as the cheeses one... but still good.

Saddest day of my life

Anna,

You are on our list for December graduation. US citizen and Permanent Resident students may work through Sunday, January 2, 2011. International students must not work after Friday, December 17, 2010.

Please see your supervisor for a termination form.

(This lovely email from the MTC was sitting in my inbox this morning)

:(

So, to cheer myself up, I decided to re-post one of my favorite missionary cartoons:


Hehehe. That helped a little.

A really funny (or should I say suave?) anecdote, for lack of a better title

So, in order to tell this story I may have to do a brief Spanish lesson.

In Spanish, the word "suave" can mean "soft."

It can also mean "cool"... you know... like suuuaaaave.

Anyway, I was teaching pronunciation to my new missionaries on Monday. I was telling them that a lot of the letters, such as the "t" and the "d", are more "suave" in espanol. As in soft.

Well, one of the elders raised his hand at the end of the lesson and said, "I just want to say that English is the language of strong men who built this country and fought for freedom (etc. etc.)" something along those lines. I kind of just looked at him like... okay... not sure where this is coming from.

Me: "Okay, that's great, but what does it have to do with pronunciation?"

Elder D: "Well, you keep saying Spanish is more suave. I mean, English is cool too."

Me: (giggles) "Elder D, I meant 'suave' as in soft. The letters are softer in Spanish. Not cooler."

Elder D: "Oh... I guess I was thinking of 'suave' in a different way. Like my shampoo."

Some things just get lost in translation, you know? Gotta treasure those moments.

P.S. Elder D is my new fave.

PCR (No, not Polymerase Chain Reaction)

I had to define a slang word for one of my classes that is used particularly among a specific group, and so I picked on my missionaries. This was actually a really fun assignment, so I share it with y'all.



PCR: An acronym that stands for "Pop Culture Reference" (though it may stand for "Polymerase Chain Reaction" among biologists). LDS missionaries in the Provo Missionary Training Center use this acronym when identifying allusions to any type of popular culture--movies, music, TV shows, etc. The reason it may have become popular among this group is that they are young men training to become servants of the Lord, with their focus completely shifting from things of the world. During the transition, it becomes necessary to identify when one dabbles back in the things of the world.

This term may be used in several different ways. For one, it may be used as a corrective measure from one missionary to another, i.e., "Elder Smith, you need to stop dropping PCR's, at least in front of the teacher" (said following a recognizable quote from a popular film). Some may even use the term to self-correct, "I made a goal to stop using so many PCR's because it's distracting me from my purpose." It may also be used in exclusion of certain groups of missionaries, as some see a lack of knowledge of PCR's as equivocating social awkwardness:

Elder Johnson: "That was a sweet PCR Elder Smith!"
Elder Anderson: "I didn't even realize that was a PCR."
Elder Johnson: "Did you live in a hole before you got here?"

Though this term is generally used and understood among this group, newcomers are often confused by its use. Its use marks one as having spent sufficient time in the Missionary Training Center to understand the meaning. Some outsiders are also often confused by its use, especially when they don't understand why it would be such a big deal to use a PCR. It is a very useful term among missionaries, however, in that it helps them recognize when they are being secular rather than spiritual.

MTC

My mind is still reeling from work tonight. I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Reasons?

1. There are two missionaries (SPANISH) going to Fort Worth on the floor that I work on... and I get to go say hi to them every time I get to work. They love me, I love them... and I've got them so pumped up for Texas. We even got a picture together to show President Thurston. He will eat that up. We also figured out that I will be the sister's great-grandmother.

2. There are people that come to that chat to talk to me. YES! I am there for a reason.. and there are people that I just connect with... right away. It's so amazing being a missionary again.

3. I love the people I work with. They're all so good... and so fun. We're pretty good at keeping each other awake.

4. It keeps me on my toes. It's been a while since I've had to answer some of those hard questions!

5. I remember what's most important.

6. I get to share what I know and LOVE with the whole world!

7. Tengo mas oportunidades para hablar en español...

Those are just a few I can think of tonight. Looks like I'm getting really into lists... Liel warned me about this...