So today I had this thought. I mean, a lot of people say life is short.... but it REALLY is. I mean, I've almost lived a quarter of a century, and it feels like nothing. Just a few more rounds of that and I'm out of here.
And the other day I was thinking about dying. What if it really hurts? There are only a few ways to die that don't hurt. I guess I don't think about it much, because it doesn't seem close. But it could really happen any day. It's amazing how little separates us from death sometimes.
I don't know what brought on these thoughts of my own mortality. Maybe that's what happens when you get older. Not saying I'm old... but I'm not getting any younger :)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Buddhism
So, the more I read my last post, the more vain it sounds. Especially the two pictures... Hahaha. I couldn't help myself.
So, as I was walking home today, I had a random thought and wanted to share it. To preface, if you have known me over the past year... you know that I become obsessed with random things. The environment. Zumba. Oh yeah, and pretty much every religion known to man. I love them ALLLLLLL. I used to come home from my world religions class saying "I want to be Hindu." Next day, "I want to be Muslim." Next day, "I want to be Jewish." (You get the picture.)*
So, today, I was Buddhist. One of the central concepts of Buddhism is that of "mindfulness" which Wikipedia teaches us is "calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness." Our teacher explained it to us as just being aware of what you're doing. Like the opposite of when you're walking across campus and you're so focused on going to class that you don't even remember crossing the quad in front of the JFSB. So, once in a while I have these moments where I just stop, and focus on every footstep, and try to be actually mindful of what I'm doing-in the moment, I suppose. And it was glorious. Do you know how beautiful the mountains look when the leaves are starting to turn red and orange? And also the trees that hang lazily over the sidewalk, offering shade to unacknowledging passersby... Yum. Life is delicious.
So, everyone should have a Buddhist moment. At least once a day, I prescribe.
*First of all, I love asterisks. I mean, just look at the name. Secondly... it should also be noted that I am completely 100% happy and content with my beliefs. That doesn't mean that I don't have a lot to learn from others!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Nothing like a little boost of confidence
Okay, today was a self-esteem booster for 2 reasons.
1. A girl in my creative writing class asked me if anyone ever told me I looked like Giselle from Enchanted. I said no, but that it was my new favorite compliment. I may project that image as I feel like my childhood fantasy is to become every Disney princess in one... and Giselle is just that... but I'm not sure we REALLY look alike. That's okay, it still made my day.
2. THEY LIKED MY POEMS! THEY ACTUALLY LIKED MY POEMS! Last week I left a little depressed because we only got to read one poem and no one really liked mine (including me, but then again I'm pretty harsh on all of them). This week though, my group seriously loved my poems. They are posted at my new blog specifically for my writing (it's invite-only, so let me know if you want to be invited). Anyway, it made me have some more confidence in my writing poems... even though it's not particularly my favorite genre, at least I know I'm not completely incompetent.
1. A girl in my creative writing class asked me if anyone ever told me I looked like Giselle from Enchanted. I said no, but that it was my new favorite compliment. I may project that image as I feel like my childhood fantasy is to become every Disney princess in one... and Giselle is just that... but I'm not sure we REALLY look alike. That's okay, it still made my day.
2. THEY LIKED MY POEMS! THEY ACTUALLY LIKED MY POEMS! Last week I left a little depressed because we only got to read one poem and no one really liked mine (including me, but then again I'm pretty harsh on all of them). This week though, my group seriously loved my poems. They are posted at my new blog specifically for my writing (it's invite-only, so let me know if you want to be invited). Anyway, it made me have some more confidence in my writing poems... even though it's not particularly my favorite genre, at least I know I'm not completely incompetent.
Monday, September 14, 2009
More Cheese Pleese*
"Matthew!" I called across the grass as I saw a familiar freshman face pass. He turned to look at me and displayed a flash of recognition.
"New Student Orientation, right?" he commented as he visibly rummaged through his memory bank. "That's cool that you remember my name."
We went on to discuss classes, his new ward, his social life, etc. I was glad to hear that there were no mental breakdowns (yet) and he seemed to be adjusting quite well to his situation. Fulfilling my duties as a responsible Y-Group leader (aka one of the leaders that helped out with the freshmen during New Student Orientation), I offered him some of my college advice. I mean, I am a wise and experienced Senior... so I can't keep it all to myself.
"Balance is the key. A social life is important, but you have to make time for studying." (Though I admit, when I was a freshman... I might have needed the opposite advice.)
Then he expressed to me his concern, as he feels like he is leaning towards medical school, but really doesn't want to be in school forever. I then gave him some borrowed advice (from one of the general authorities... I'm not sure which, but maybe Elder Oaks or Elder Nelson?):
"In 10 years, you're going to be doing something. You can be working a job you don't like, or going to school to do something you love. A few years won't make a difference."
He liked that, and heck, I felt good about myself. #1 because I've learned these things the hard way and was able to share from experience, and #2 he seriously seemed to contemplate them. Borrowing from my good friend Alex Morgan, "Just make one person's day better."
That is my new goal in life. At least one person a day. It was such a simple experience, but I was just feeling really good after it. Sometimes I feel like a pretty small fish in a big pond at BYU, but even one person can make a difference. Hurray for life. Now I think I'll go eat rainbows and dance on marshmallow clouds.
*I would like to acknowledge the fact that I purposefully spelled "please" incorrectly. It almost hurt me to do it, but I thought it looked more catchy. Wuldn't wahnt anywun theenking I doen't noe how too spelle.
"New Student Orientation, right?" he commented as he visibly rummaged through his memory bank. "That's cool that you remember my name."
We went on to discuss classes, his new ward, his social life, etc. I was glad to hear that there were no mental breakdowns (yet) and he seemed to be adjusting quite well to his situation. Fulfilling my duties as a responsible Y-Group leader (aka one of the leaders that helped out with the freshmen during New Student Orientation), I offered him some of my college advice. I mean, I am a wise and experienced Senior... so I can't keep it all to myself.
"Balance is the key. A social life is important, but you have to make time for studying." (Though I admit, when I was a freshman... I might have needed the opposite advice.)
Then he expressed to me his concern, as he feels like he is leaning towards medical school, but really doesn't want to be in school forever. I then gave him some borrowed advice (from one of the general authorities... I'm not sure which, but maybe Elder Oaks or Elder Nelson?):
"In 10 years, you're going to be doing something. You can be working a job you don't like, or going to school to do something you love. A few years won't make a difference."
He liked that, and heck, I felt good about myself. #1 because I've learned these things the hard way and was able to share from experience, and #2 he seriously seemed to contemplate them. Borrowing from my good friend Alex Morgan, "Just make one person's day better."
That is my new goal in life. At least one person a day. It was such a simple experience, but I was just feeling really good after it. Sometimes I feel like a pretty small fish in a big pond at BYU, but even one person can make a difference. Hurray for life. Now I think I'll go eat rainbows and dance on marshmallow clouds.
*I would like to acknowledge the fact that I purposefully spelled "please" incorrectly. It almost hurt me to do it, but I thought it looked more catchy. Wuldn't wahnt anywun theenking I doen't noe how too spelle.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Writing
No one ever said that chasing your dreams was easy. Maybe if it were, it wouldn't be so fun.
I was introduced by my lovely neighbor today as an avid writer/reader who had traded in her scalpel for a pencil. Wow, did my creative writing professor have a field day with that one.
"So, you will have funding coming from independent sources in order to support you in your writing?"
"No."
"Do you expect to make money as a writer?"
"No. Well, at least not at first."
"Good. I like optimistic people."
Thus begins my career. I don't mind, because I'm the kind of person where that kind of fuel just feeds the fire. Tell me I can't do it more. Tell me. Great. Tell me I'm crazy. Ridiculous. Even better.
Our first assignment is to write four poems. While walking home I already had like a billion ideas running through my head, so I'll begin sharing some of those poems as I finish them.
It's going to be a great semester.
I was introduced by my lovely neighbor today as an avid writer/reader who had traded in her scalpel for a pencil. Wow, did my creative writing professor have a field day with that one.
"So, you will have funding coming from independent sources in order to support you in your writing?"
"No."
"Do you expect to make money as a writer?"
"No. Well, at least not at first."
"Good. I like optimistic people."
Thus begins my career. I don't mind, because I'm the kind of person where that kind of fuel just feeds the fire. Tell me I can't do it more. Tell me. Great. Tell me I'm crazy. Ridiculous. Even better.
Our first assignment is to write four poems. While walking home I already had like a billion ideas running through my head, so I'll begin sharing some of those poems as I finish them.
It's going to be a great semester.
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